Don’t Flap Your Lips and Bitch

Don’t Flap Your Lips and Bitch

Just as a little aside before I get started with my extremely clever and brilliant (Andrew Stark taught me that word) blog post, I want to say that my blog will not always look like this…its a work waiting for progress and the progress will come when Sergio Felix launches his WP Tutorial program. I plan to develop the site, buy a nice professional theme and learn all the wonderful things I am sure Sergio will teach me. Meanwhile I corrected a couple of minor issues with me seeing that you’ve commented on my blog and making sure you don’t have to wait for me to wander over and approve your comments. I’ve also installed comment luv…so if you have a blog post it will show in your comment section and readers will be able to take the hyperlink express over to your blog.

Now down to business.

Referrals…yep they are  our business. Getting them, retaining them, loving them and letting them go if they so choose.

I see much grousing and complaining in the chats and elsewhere about inactive referrals. The first thing I think of when I hear this is Mahatma Gandhi’s famous quote: ” be the change you want to see in the world”, or in less polite terms get off your ass and do something about it…which might even mean send these inactive referrals…or any of your referrals for that matter a note that shows at the very least you might possibly be interested in them, their story, and their goals and dreams. Oop’s that’s work.

The reason I’m talking about this is my own dismal experience when I sign up under some one at one of the sites I see while surfing the traffic exchanges. I do sign up for things…quite often. Out of the last ten or so sites I’ve signed up to…I’ve received 2 welcome letters…neither of them offered to help me…or gave me their Skype link if I had a question or two or were in any way encouraging me to connection with them.

Is it just me? Or do you have a similar experiences?

I’d love to know.

Recently as way of an example I received a reply from a down-line member that went something like this: “Sorry I didn’t get back sooner, I didn’t realize your email  was more than just your standard welcome letter.”

That gave me pause.  Seriously. Think about all the ramifications of that comment.

We are responsible for the quality of our referrals: no one else…not the Traffic Exchange owner, not the referral, we are.

When you flap your lips and bitch…not only are you not taking responsibility…you’re standing naked and  telling the world you expect things  handed to you on a silver platter. You want  active referrals ready to spend money without doing an ounce of work  …because that’s the way it  ought to be. Flap, flap, flap.

Granted…not all referrals will respond…you will still get a large percentage that won’t do anything and I’m the first to say in my best Jim Rohn voice…”next”. But have we trained them to be that way?

It’s our job to find a way to make that connection, however tenuous it maybe at first.

And I tell you there is nothing more rewarding than to see that connection bloom and morph into a real relationship which creates a richness and a reward that far exceeds any monetary gain.

It’s a get down in the trenches sort of thing. I have no perfect answers to get that response, except to roll up your sleeves and go for it.

If you want responsive referrals…then be the change to bring that about.

Otherwise…you’re just flapping your lips.


Nick Grimshawe

PS here is a great program that will give you lots of practice:





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